Book 1: Left Uncontrolled - Chapter 2: The Runaway *Written by KLim*

No more home. I have nowhere to turn to. To think that the ones I loved were murdered in the hands of the one I loved. What more is there left for me? Memories of my great grandmother and I flashes in my head over and over again, I can’t believe she’s dead. Daniel, the one I loved, betrayed me, or can I say he did not? What exactly happened, I do not know. I loved Daniel, I loved him beyond the physical satiation and we had an emotional connection. A connection that we had beyond what I learnt from school. The piercing pain paralyses me, as here I am, in one of the man-made drainage where I can see no one else, not even those above that no one else knew existed. The world is bigger than I thought it was, everything has changed. It kept me wondering, what exactly am I? Is this the time where I need to confront my questions that I have been avoiding? The journey had just begun.

I remembered my teacher once telling me, in the theory of how cameras work, the cameras cannot see us beyond what it can capture even though we can see them. I can see them, I see those who are watching us, but they do not know that I knew about their existence. They are probably seeing me as a defect that is withering somewhere else, maybe they think that I am dying already, since I cannot reproduce to what they expect me to. I shall pretend that I am dead. I will change my identity and walk out of here. I know I can do this. There is nowhere else a reject like me can go anymore. I picked up a stone and I slit my upper eyelids, I pierced the sides of my mouth, I cut off my ear lopes, and here I am, a new person, or so I thought. I survived on wild frogs in the drain, I ate them as I kill them and allowed them to sizzle in the intense sun. My wounds healed faster than I thought it would. Many days passed and I have forgotten who I was, or so I thought. My features are now different, I have a different set of eyes, I have different smile lines and my ears are now smaller and different.

I moved. I finally moved out from this place still bearing the loss, I looked like a beggar on the streets, but this is good. I went into a mall and begged for clothes and they gave me some male outfit (they might have thought people my age left were all males). I cut my hair short as I pretended to be a lunatic in another mall, stole their scissors, and trimmed it later on.  I went into a public toilet and washed myself up, I looked different but not ugly, but this is good. I look like a man now, I look like a man, and this is good. Now I walk with confidence and I need a job, I do not know how these men were educated but I can pretend that I know from what I know of… that man, Daniel. I went to the area where only men were allowed in, or so I thought. I thought it was the safest here because there isn’t any female left to recognize me.

I was so wrong. Once I stepped into this palace-like area, I see females everywhere. They do not look alive, they are all encapsulated in capsules of water, naked. They are all wearing masks that seems to keep them asleep within these tanks. I see men everywhere, walking around, with eyes as if choosing their prey. The feeling I received from them is as though these women are ready to be their supper, without any means to escape. I followed a man through his selection, I see him chose a women in her 30s. He paid the salesperson $8,000 and immediately, the salesperson released her. The water levels fell drastically and the capsules opened. The man took off her mask that was keeping her asleep, and immediately when her eyes opened, he grabbed her breasts like a predator hunting a prey. He bit her at the most sensitive part and I almost shrieked. The salesperson asked him to be patient and he will usher him to a room. The released women showed no emotion, just a slight hint of pain in her eyes. I followed and was stopped, but the salesperson offered me a deal, he said if I wanted to watch this, it will be $2,000. I had no money, I told him I am not interested, he said he can waive it for me this time, but if I am interested again, I will have to contact him again. He passed me a name card, and I followed him to the watching area…

Book 1: Left Uncontrolled - Chapter 1: (Genesis) First Blood *Written by KLim*

Hey everyone, I am Serena Chong Zhi Xin. I feel out of place (all the time) in the world that I live in, I always feel as though I don’t belong here. Yet, this is supposed to be home, my home, where my family is. My family is made up of my dad, me and my great grandmother. Everyone around me is the same, they only have 1 dad but some have grandmothers (which I don’t), but having great grandmothers are uncommon. 

In biology class, they taught us that we all have mothers, but I do not know where have the mothers gone to? I have been puzzled by this since then. I asked everyone, “where is my mother?” and all they did were to shrug and say, “I don’t know where is mine too”. I know I am a female and I will be a mother soon enough after I get married to my precious boy. Oh yes, I have a boyfriend! He is Daniel Lionel, I do not know where he is from but he certainly don’t look Chinese to me. We have a practice into not prying too much into our boyfriend’s life. I met him back in my high school days where he was from the opposite school, his eyes met mine and I suddenly felt a flush to my face and I knew I was in love with him. Back to the days where I showed my love to him, whenever I give him a card, he would return with an awkward smile. One day, he just, told me he love me too! That was how our relationship started.

In history class, they taught us about the past. My world used to be separated till the savior came to change us. The savior must not be named and anyone who speaks of him shall die an unnoticed death. Our teachers told us, the savior descended from the sky in a majestic machine and united the world into one. The savior killed all the unclean genetics and all that are left in this world is the purest humans with original blood. We are supposed to live our lives without questioning the laws he has set for us, it is him who brought us so far, anyone ANYONE who goes against him will die. 

After school, I met up with Daniel we went for an awesome date where he left his arms around my waist almost all the time. His hands are warm and his touch is just so gentle that it reaches my heart. I am so happy to have known him. Daniel and I are getting married 2 days later. We need to rush this because it is a practice here to get married before we graduate from college. Our graduation is 3 days later and so, we need to have an intercourse to symbolize that we are one, by graduation day. To have that intercourse we need to get married first, so my dad planned our marriage 2 months ago. Time flies. 

We have been dating for 11 years, I am 24 this year and he is 27. We started dating since I was 12. It was amazing where the 2 of us travelled to multiple places together. We took flights to various places in the continent, and we also drove to multiple locations that are nearby. I remember sitting next to him and watch him drive, surrounding us was quiet landscape that has nothing (I really thank the savior for controlling the population in this case). Very much of our land is clear and clean, trees around are green and well-maintained. I wonder who is the one who cared for these trees? Mother of nature? Well, pushing that aside, I doubt anyone would care for them as much as I care for my Daniel. My love for him is just growing every moment I am with him, I wonder who he inherited the charm from? His mother or his father? Probably his father, since we all don’t know where our mums are. 

If I were to become a mum, I wouldn’t want to leave my child alone. My child is my flesh and blood so how can I leave him alone. I would nurture him to be my son, my one and only. I don’t understand the mothers in this world I live in, where did they go? I asked my dad all the time and he refuses to answer me, saying that it is against the savior by doing so. I wonder if it is true, though. My dad refuses to tell me about marrying too, I wonder how my life would be? My great grandmother just remained silent but her face is filled with uncertainty, I could tell. She is a special someone in my life, she’s my mum. A little sneeze from her and I will know what she is thinking, but this time, she must be hiding something from me.

Turning and tossing myself on bed, I can’t sleep tonight, tomorrow is my wedding day. My sex education teacher have been telling me how wonderful it feels like to undergo intercourse. They showed us video of couples making out in bed and it always made us have this weird sense that boils in our body and heart as though we are craving for something we do not know. I wonder if Daniel feels the same anxiety as I.

I am married, I just signed the papers of acknowledgment with Daniel. My dad testified our marriage, I swear this is the purest and best moments of my life. The long wait is now gone. I am in my new chapter of life. Everyone invited are happy for me. Yet, I do not understand why my great grandmother’s face shows such deep sorrows at this moment. It is as though she is mourning for someone, what is happening? I shall not let her expression deviate me from the happiness and joy from this marriage, the ushers are finally going to bring us to the new house assigned to us for consummation. The house is designed by Daniel and other designers that has been issued to deal with the house for us.

The house is beautiful. Nothing can describe this subliminal beauty I am seeing in front of me. I pat Daniel on his back to credit him for his effort, he gave me that awkward smile again. He carried me with his strong arms and kissed me on my neck. He threw me to the bed and unbuckled my dress. He took off his shirt and I saw a big chested muscular man, I was in love again. He grabbed me on my breast and kissed in between them. Then my body flushed and I felt as hot as a frying pan. He was gentle as he made out with me, just like what I saw in the sexual videos in school, everything seemed to be planned and seemed to be following a system. It is unusual. But, it felt good to have someone touching me from neck to back to hip to thighs. It felt good. Until he tried to insert himself into me, I felt like my heart just broke, he was rough, it was painful, nothing could describe that excruciating pain, I looked down and I saw blood. To my horror, my blood was there but he showed no remorse. I was crying out, screaming out of pain, he was smiling, no longer awkward but bestial. I began to ask myself, who is this man? He was still as charming but the experience was painful. I cried and cried and cried, no one came. Suddenly, I heard laughter, I looked around me, and saw countless people looking at us. We seemed to be in a sphere where other humans watched us, and Daniel seemed to be oblivious.

After that day, we proceed on to our daily routine of life, everything seems the same. However, I begin to see things I don’t think I should see. I began to realize a system in everything, I began to realize people watching us. We are not alone. No one realizes it except for me after that night, why is it so? To protect myself, I pretended that I do not know. Daniel craved for sex every now and then, sex becomes more enjoyable as time pass, yet, I could not fully enjoy as I knew I was being watched like an animal in the zoo. Our sex is not love, its instinct.

One day, everyone my age is getting pregnant. Except me, but this was also when I realize that they started disappearing once they are sent to the pregnancy care center. Is this why all of us have no mothers? Daniel, too, started to get puzzled with why I am not getting pregnant, I am puzzled about it myself. We went to the doctors and did a blood test… to realize… I am not human.

They wanted to quarantine me, but I knew I had nothing else left but doom. I ran quickly, going back to find my dad and great grandmother, but I was late. They were dead. Daniel… killed them. His hands were bloody there, standing in the home I lived in for the past 24 years. I could not understand why. When he saw me, he cried. He seemed to be out of control, or instead, I felt he was controlled. Everything is controlled, where can I run… where can I run to?